It's Always Sunny in Axel
by 98234294y2931h1efuddiaisd02u92
Summary: Shorts for the best/worst light novel series. (Originally published as individual stories with the first one in September 2017.)
1. Surrealist Rhapsody

"Welcome," greeted the receptionist succubus. "For the meager price of a bit of your vitality, our girls will give you the most pleasurable wet dream imaginable."

"Hm..."

The customer stroked his chin thoughtfully.

"Can I, then, for instance, dream about being a receptionist succubus working in a store that sells wet dreams to male adventurers?"

"..."


	2. Sound of Explosions

_"Hello, Darkness, my old friend~"_

Darkness perked her head.

"Hm?"

 _"I've come to talk_ with _you again."_

"What is it, Kazuma?"

 _"Because a vision softly creeping... Left its seeds while I was sleeping..."_

Aqua was weeping.

"Our mansionnnnnnnnnnn! Wah..."

 _"And the vision that was planted in my brain..."_

"Mm, he calls me but then ignores me!"

 _"Still remains..."_

Meanwhile, Megumin lied on the floor, unable to move.

 _"Within the sound of silence."_


	3. A Productive Conversation

"Hey, Kazuma."

Kazuma turned around.

"What?"

Megumin grinned.

"I'm already a demon, Kaz-"

"Stop."


	4. happy me m

"It's been a while since we've gone dungeon explor-"

Without warning, Aqua suddenly covered Kazuma's mouth.

"Heymph, what's the big ideamm?"

"Shhh, don't make any sudden movements."

Kazuma stared at his comrades, Megumin and Darkness, hoping for assistance, only to see them petrified with what could only be described as primal fear (yes, even Darkness). He then turned his sights over towards the source of their fear. In the middle of the room stood a rather strange creature. It looked like a (poorly) computer-generated version of some cartoon animal.

"...whoah..." it spoke, eliciting shudders from everyone else (except Kazuma).

Kazuma lowered his voice to a whisper.

"What the hell is that thing?"

"No one has a name for it. It is so widely feared, that simply acknowledging its existence has been outlawed by every kingdom."

"...whoah..."

The second utterance prompted Megumin and Darkness to take several slow and nervous steps in the opposite of direction from where this creature was standing. Aqua found herself in the middle of following them.

"Aw, it looks sad."

Kazuma, on the other hand, took one step forward. Aqua quickly pulled him back.

"That is a monster that even the gods fear, Kazuma. If you know me, then you should know how dangerous that is."

"...whoah."

The third utterance was even sadder than the previous two. (He did know Aqua.) Steeling himself, Kazuma approached the creature in a casual manner.

"Hey there."

"KAZUMA, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Why, what's the matt-"

"WHOAH!"

Space and time distorted throughout the room.

"Whaaaaaaaat is happeningggggg!?"

"WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH W̤͕̝͎̘̼H͏͍͖̱͈͓O͕̪͔̩̫͡AH͜ ̴͍̠W̼͙H͎̱͍͙O̘͖͕̹A͡H͇̜ ͠W̬͇̪̫̠H̤̩̹̮ͅǪ̼̹̟̟̰̯̙A̺͉͔͖H͚̙̻̻ ̤W̡̬͔̺H̜͓Ó̬̮A̯͍̱̰̰̦͜H ̟̦̖͓WḤ̪̦͔̰O҉͔̠A͙̣H̪͔̮̪͚̰ ͎͚̦̙͇W̡ͅḨO̹͎͙̫͝A̢̲̘̺͕H҉̞̤̬̩ͅ ̵̘̻̣WH̵̙͉̩͙O̳̖̥͕͘Á̝̣̭H͇̩̩͟ ͙̬̣̱̘W͖̟͎̕H͖̪OA̲̗̣̟H̥̣̘̬͇͇ ̣̼͟W̲̬̮H̫̞͔̩̻͙Ơ̞͍̬̳̳A̷͇̬̦͙̪H̝͓̳̬͔ ͖̣͖͙̳ͅW̮͝ͅH̥̯̫͔͖̟͔́O̳̭̭A͝H̩̩͚̜ W͖̜̲͍͖ͅͅH̨O̰͞A͓H̜̰̮̬͔̙͍͞ ͇W̞̻HÓ̖̝̦̭̪ͅA̷͚̻̭H̡̞̣̫͚̪ ͙͔͎͈͈̳͙W̧H̬̪͉O̭͕̜͉͓̝A̦̩͓̭̜̬͔H̺̳̪̘͖͕͟ ͉̱̘W̫͙̥̲͙͍̘H̤̺̞͖̠O̵͇͇͎̜̱̦ͅA͏̣̫̼̫̻ͅH̶̯͇̙̮͖̣͕ ͈̘̰̮W̪͙̙̘̘͉̮͠H̠̲O͉̞̭̜͕͔̻͜A̛̳̗̮͇̮͕Ḥ͠ ̪͔̥̪͘ͅW̪̫͓̖̰ͅH̯̗̜Ó̬̦̥̻̟̝̞AH̸̪̹̺͍̱ ̵̗̳W̼̯H̳̗̞̮͕ÒA̼͓͈͖͈͓ͅH̡̱̯̭̳̬̼̦ ̨W͍͕̯H͔̰̖̞͟O̭̘̼̦̣͝ͅA͓̗̗̝͓̬H̼̘̳ ̜͓̭̥̘W̷H̱̜͍̖͙O̭̜̯͎͠Ạ͕̳̯̩̳H̲͎͖͟ ̢̩̹̥W̲H̻̬͓͕̪ͅOA̡͙̱̘H̘͉͎̜̜̙͚͜ ̗̬͎͙̺̲͖WḤ̠̟̫O̩͉͚̭͔͞A͎H̹̺͉̱ ̶̭̘̬W̲̜̤̱̬H҉͕̝̤̬O̰̹̺̦͞A̞̮̝̝͘H̟̖͍ ̘̀W̨͈̲̙̭̲H̶̫͕͈̳͎O̢̤̲A͉͔̜̗̞̕H͚̘̖̭͕͟ ̻̰̲Ẉ̺̘̬H̬͞O̺̪͍͕̳̪̕A̶̜̱̗̝̼H͟ ̦̟W̡͇̖̮͙̬Ḥ̵̻OA̧̟̱̳̬͖̣͙H͎̘͚̥̗͙ ̫͍̘͍̙̬̳͘W͓͍̱̟̫̹͇H̝͔̠̞͈͙̲O̴̜̭͍͉̠̼̯A̰̘͖̘̳̹̙H̬̤̭͈͖͢ ̹̪͍̤̘͎W͚͜H͏̠̼̫ͅO̻A̤H̻̫̦͚͕̣ ͇̫̦͖̫̖̰W̘̝̹͕͢Ḥ̹̼͕͔͔͚͝O̯A̵̟̙̙̮̗H̠̖ ̺̩͡W̜̥H̳̬O̧̰̘̳̠̮A̭͚̟H̪͎̠̠̫̘̞ ̰͕̗Ẃ̺̪͉͉̯̲̣H͔͚̳͓̮O̺̫A̛͖H̸͓͈̹͙ ̡̮̭̱͍W͚̬̩͍̘H̩O͖͎̫͎͙ẠH͎̲̣̖͔̣͉ ̪́W͘H̻̘̻̜̼̹͝ͅO̪͍̝̭A̖̩̮̺̟̲H̘̝̥͞ ̧̱W͎͉̩̳̝̞͇HO̢̙A̵͍̺̠̮̗Ḩ̜̙̻̫ ̠W̴͓̩̣̻̯̯H͎̜͖̭O͓̺̳̝͡A̰̠̮̗͡H̼͉̘̠ ̮̤̰̹̫̯W̰̼̹̼͓͚̕H̛̩̟̟̠̳̱̳O̞̹̞̩̬̕A̧̫H̱̭̻̠̱͘ ͚͉̱͚͔͢W̮̹H̬͖̕O̦̣͈ĄH̷͎̘̝̣ ҉̪̼͈̹̞͓W͇͇̖̟͈͈͖H̙͎̩̦͓̦O̡̞̤͓͚A͈H ̙̱̦̹̟͔̥W̠̳̙̱̘H͔̩̭̱Ó̯͖̼͎A̺̗̺̜͈̤̳H̠͔̙̳͞ ̨̙̺W̭̥̺̣̲̳̟H̨͖̘͎O̲̺͜A̧̫̤̲̯͔̯H̩̩̖͚̣̙̘ ͙̤͓̱́W͔̞͘Ḩ̦̤O̞̞A̫̺̼̪͕̝H̙̻ ̷̳͔W̠̬̺̥H͉̳Ǫ̻̱͍͈͓͈̱A̰̙͚̤̲̫͎͝H͙̫ ̸W̲͝H̗̫̥͉̘̮O̸̺A̺̞̘̱̬͎͠H͇͍̯̟͙̝͖̕ ̱̞͍͔͙̲͍WH̬O̰͇̩̱A͓̗͍̟H҉͖̤̯̬̥̯̠ ͕̜̠͚̬̰W͚̝̬͈̱̥̙H̶̻O̷À̱H ̲̟̟̮͉̹̙WH̴̺̤O̠̫͙A̛̫̳̰̱̺ͅH̶̪̞̺̖̼ ͡W̰̖Ḥ̰̙O̙͕̮̤̤̯̟A̧̲̱H͈ ̪̜͍̼W̧ḨO̯ḀH͎͈̮̜̭ ͍̦W̦̤̲͈͢H͈̮̲̲͉̹̗O̜̪͘A̦̼̹͍H̯͉̠̪ͅ W̙̥̬͎H͉̠͕̟O̞̖̟̙̭̦A҉̟͎̳͕͉̠H̞̝̦͎̳ ͓̣W̼̯̭H̴̖̮͖O̻̪̫͔͚Á̗̗̙͔̦͖͍H ͎̯̱W̧͓͕̮̲ͅH̖̗̀Ọ̠͚A̵̬͇͖̝̪̼H̛ ̫͔̭̥̱̼W̷̩̝̤H̤͇̖O̩̙A̺̱̭͈̮̭̺H̥̦̯̬̲̹̰͢ ̮̰̮̯̻̰͞Ẃ͈̖H̼̹̦̀O̬̠͖͚̰̟̯A̬̗͔̣̬̺̺͡H͍̪͖͎ ̘̙̜͇̼́W͝H͉͇̱̗͔̞Ò͕A̯H W͡H̟̘O̻̙ͅͅA̰̣H͖̥̗̠̹̱́ ̜̗͟W̗̦͇͓H̢O͉̣͚̺͠A̫̲͍̱H̶ ̨̳̥̬̳̖W͕̭̺̫͎̳ͅH҉̬̥̮̙O̝̗͞A̸͔͔͓̮̩͓̹Ḫ̶̝͕ ̨̗̹̤͎̼W̘̥͈̻HO̺̼̱̮͓̗͞ͅA͈͇͎͎͘H̖̖̮̭̬ͅ ̶͖̟̠W̱̣̬̮H̴O̝͚̳̞A̭H̡ ̡̪̙̫̼̠͔͖W̟̼̩HOA̻̙̝͍͕H̻͎͞ ̫̹͡W͙̜̫͖H̵O͚̹̻͍A̦H̟̦̝͈͈̟ ̝͙̙̞̲ͅW̺̼͈͉H͘O͢A͉̞̰̯H̸͇̥͉̱̼ ͔̻͈̹͉̺W̶͇̤̝̳͖͔̞H͡O̖A̪͚Ḩ̙̟̜̱͙͇̞ ̙͠W͓͖H͡OA̜̞͎͟H̱̹͙͖̦̘ W̡̘̮̫̟̣̩H̵̰͙O͚̫̗A̩̗H̷ ̙͚̰̺͓́W̖̫͉͢Ḩ͍̞̣̬̦O̭̤̲͢ͅA̮̥͕̰̰̠̣H̠̻͞ ̝̘̰̘̙̳̤͞WH҉͈̼̗͔O̷̜AH̶̳͇̬̱̹̲͔ ̵̺͍͙͕W҉H̻̗̦̺̖OA̡͈H ̭̙͠W̵͉ḪO̬̠̤A͔̳̩͖̳̮Ḥ͍̯̣̫ ̟̯̮W̡̥͇̗̤̹H͙̥̭ỌẠ̶H̠̼̮̺̙̗̱̀ ̱̳͉͎͢W̦̖̤͕̺̼̝H̰͎O͇̞͇̥̗̲͚A̞͎H̹̯͚͎̯̪͟ ̲̻͉̻̺̰͓Ẉ̨HO̸À͎̭̘H ͔͈W̛̙̥̪̝H͚̥̻̗̥̖̳O҉͇͙̠̠A̶̻͖̠͖̻H̡͎̥ ̰̼͈̹̼W̬͇̪͎H̳̣̪̪̮O̹̟̪̜̞A̘̞̖̤͘H ̼Ẃ͎H̷̟͇O̧̥͇̦̤̣͉ͅA̼̰Ḩ͔̥ͅ ̡̬͈̬͔̹͇̖W̵H̭͎͕̻̲͉O̪͟A͇̬̲͈̮͇̭H ͈͡W̘̱̫̥̘̮͠H̙̝̦O̟͇A̺̤H͓̥̲̙͘ ̴͚̯W̮͔̥̪̕H̹͢Ò̦͎͇͎̪̬A̷̯H͈̲̦̭ ̨̮W̪͇̼͙̱̖͠H͖̝̺͓O̗͔̝̥͘A͚͚̬͟H ͖͉͎̗W̥̞̦̹H̩̟̀O̳͔̥A̝͓͕̻͔̼͙H̪̰̼̯̰̼ ͖̗̝W̥̻̼͈̭H̤̫͍̟͔̲O̗͔͓̱AH͉̝̬͇͜ ͘WH̩̰̙͘O҉̗A̷̘H̷͉̜ ̺̟W̺̞̗͕HO̡̜̠̤̪̮̙̥A̜H̹̳͔̘̝̣ ̘̺̝̙̘͖W̺̻̣͖͡H̤̜O͖͙̱̩A̶H̖͜ ̝̟͢W͈͓̫͙̺̟͜H̦O͖̬͠AḤ̢̫̩ͅ ̰̀W̰͖͈ͅHO̖A̜̭͙̱̤̫H͔̭͕͚ ̞̜̟̙W̳͕͇Ḥ͎̝͕͚O̟̹͈̯̠͞A̛̼͖̣̟̯͖̼H̰̖ ̶͇̹̲̖̝̗͉W̘̫͠H͕͇̠̕Ọ̩̬ͅA̴̯̤̣͎͉̟͙H̨̙̳̙̪͈͍ "

...

...

...

...

...

...

...somehow, the four had survived the whole ordeal.

...

...

...

...

...

They made a solemn vow to never speak about what happened back there to anyone, not even amongst themselves.


	5. Killer Meme

Two explosive forces crashed into one another.

"Hey, you put your peanut butter in my chocolate," said the blonde stranger.

"And you put your chocolate in my peanut butt-"

"「Killer Queen」 has already touched that peanut butter!"

"NANI!?"

Everyone exploded.


End file.
